It's no secret that having children throws a wrench into your sex life. I hope I'm not over-sharing when I say (earmuffs, Mom), things "get intimate" around here, at best, a few times a month. (My husband is probably laughing now, "A few times?" Hey, I said at best.)
I'm sure there are lots of reasons why sex goes out the window once you have children: you are too tired, you are afraid the kids will hear, you ate too much ice cream once you finally got the kids to bed, you don't feel sexy carrying around your baby weight (maybe you should lay off the ice cream... ), etc.
But, I don't think any of those reasons is the main culprit - at least not for me. Sure, they all apply (particularly the ice cream bits). But, honestly, by the time the kids are in bed, I am just done with human contact.
This is an actual quote from my five-year-old: "I just want to hug and snuggle and cuddle you all the time." Guess what? So does your sister. So does Daddy. That's a lot of pressure for just one me.
My days are spent in various forms of human contact: good morning hugs from my five-year-old, cranky morning strangleholds from my toddler, rushed good-bye kisses from my husband, eating breakfast while my toddler sits in my lap, holding my five-year-old's hand on the way to the bus stop, snuggling my toddler while she drinks her milk and watches Doc McStuffins, hugs and slobbery kisses from my toddler before and after nap time, reading books while my toddler sits in my lap, eating lunch while my toddler hugs my leg, stacking blocks while my toddler sits in my lap, tickling my toddler's sweet baby toes and blowing raspberries on her belly before changing her diaper, spinning while balancing my toddler on one hip and my five-year-old on the other hip to appease them between loads of laundry, my toddler sobbing into my neck because her sister won't let her in her room, cooking dinner while my toddler pulls on my sweater and my five-year-old hugs my waist, kissing the scratch on my five-year-old's arm, eating dinner with my five-year-old in my lap because she bumped her knee on the bench, scrubbing my toddler's hands and face after every meal and all her body parts during bath time, combing the tangles from my five-year-old's hair while she clutches my arm, family snuggles while reading bed time stories, and, finally, good night hugs and kisses.
After all that, I just want some time for my body to be my own. I want to put the living room back in order, enjoy the glorious silence that has fallen over the house, and sit on the couch without someone in my lap. I don't want anyone else touching me - not even my husband, whom I love and appreciate immensely. Really, at this point, the only things I want to make contact with are the remote and some Double Stuf Oreos.
So, for me, that's why motherhood threw a wrench into my sex life. By the end of the day, my body's capacity for human contact has been maxed out, and there is just no room left for spousal intimacy. Yes, I'm also tired, afraid the kid's will hear, and not proud of my post-baby body. But all of those things I manage to get over on the occasions I'm not feeling overwhelmed by human contact, such as when rare morning or afternoon opportunities arise (<--- tip for all the husbands out there).
Am I the only one who's nerve endings just want to be left alone after a day with kids?