5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned
1. My 5-year-old drew this amazing picture of Santa being quite disrespectful to Rudolph:
Maybe that's why all of the other reindeer called him names. (Ba dum chuh!)
Lesson: My 5-year-old is far better at drawing reindeer than I am, but I should teach her how to make larger speech bubbles.
2. While I was attempting to eat apple slices and peanut butter, my toddler dipped her fingers in my peanut butter and discovered she LOVED peanut butter . . .
until the next day when I tried to give her a PB&J sandwich for lunch and she threw every single piece on the floor. Every. Single. Piece.
Lesson: My toddler will someday be a person who earnestly says, "Don't act like you know me!"
3. This Goldfish massacre . . .
. . . while I was in the next room for three minutes trying to get a head start on dinner.
Lesson: My toddler can't be trusted to just eat the handful of Goldfish I put in her bowl . She will also dump the entire bag (that I stupidly left on the coffee table) all over the floor.
4. This conversation between my 5-year-old and my husband.
5-year-old: Dad! The shelf fell down again!
Husband: How did that happen?
5-year-old: I don't know.
Husband: Well, you must have touched it.
5-year-old: . . .
Husband: Were you messing with it?
5-year-old: I mean, it was crooked.
Husband: Okay . . .
5-year-old: I mean . . . I knocked it down.
Lesson: Pray my 5-year-old is never a key witness in an important investigation.
5. My husband was out of town for a few days for work . . .
He sent updates that looked like this:
In response to the ones I sent that looked like this:
And then my five-year-old threw up all over my car on our way home from picking my husband up from the airport.
Lesson: I really need to plan a "work trip" soon. Also, I should pick up a new pack of air fresheners for my car.