Basic Mom Week in Review - 01/18/15

5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned

1. This exchange between my husband and daughter while discussing her school day:

Husband: Do you know what P.E. stands for?

5-year-old: Gym.

Lesson: No matter how hard schools push for it to be called "physical education," it will always and forever be "gym."

2. While trying on outfits for an upcoming wedding, my toddler got her hands on one of my necklaces. It was adorable watching her trying to put it on . . . 

Until she walked in the bathroom and, with great intent, dipped it in the toilet.

Hours later, she somehow managed to locate my makeup remover, unscrew the top, and dump the entire bottle on the bathroom floor.

Lesson: Never trust toddlers.

3. This conversation while my 5-year-old and I set off for the bus stop (yes, I drove her to the bus stop - it's like 3 blocks away, and it was freezing!):

5-year-old (inexplicably annoyed): Ugh. Why are you bringing your wallet?

Me: Because my driver's license is in my wallet, and you aren't supposed to drive without your driver's license.

Me (making a lame mom joke): And I have to pay your bus driver.

5-year-old: Nooo, that's only on, like, regular buses.

Me: Right, like city buses.

5-year-old: And party buses.

Me: How do you know about party buses?

5-year-old: Grandma told me.

Lesson: Never trust Grandma.

4. My 5-year-old very sweetly (and randomly) asked if she could "make her own sauce" one afternoon after school. I'm not one to stifle creativity (or to say no to anything food-related), so I gathered her requested ingredients: 

ketchup, mayonnaise, Sriracha, and shredded cheese.

Lesson: In a pinch, ketchup, mayonnaise, Sriracha, and shredded cheese make an interesting, and not entirely terrible, dipping sauce.

5. On Thursday, I called to cancel our supplemental accident and sickness insurance policy because I was sick of paying a monthly premium for something we never use . . .

Then on Friday, I fell down the stairs while carrying my toddler, and she now has a fractured tibia.

Lesson: Jinxes are real.