I'm So Fancy...

As a basic mom, I spend a lot of my time feeling decidedly not-fancy. In fact, I spend a good deal of time feeling borderline disgusting. There are Friday nights when I realize I haven’t had the opportunity to shower since Tuesday. I regularly wear jeans that I pretend do not have a mixture of kid snot and yogurt caked on them. Too many nights, I find that I've eaten half a bag of Doritos after my kids are in bed because it just feels so darn good to eat without little hands and voices trying to pull me away from my food.

But there are times when I feel sort of fancy. There are small luxuries that give me a glimpse into what it must be like to be a sophisticated human being.

Here are 10 things that make this basic mom feel fancy:

  1. Making homemade macaroni and cheese without using Velveeta.

  2. The occasional week when we use Charmin instead of store-brand toilet paper in my house because it was on sale and I had a coupon.

  3. Attending to the trifecta of unwanted body hair (legs, underarms, lady parts) all in the same shower.

  4. Having a conversation with an adult that is not involved in the rearing of my children.

  5. Spending a full forty minutes doing my hair and makeup - compared to the two minutes I usually spend putting on mascara and lip balm and attempting to revive my hair with dry shampoo, I feel like a movie star.

  6. Eating ice cream out of a dish at a table with another human being instead of straight from the carton in front of Netflix.

  7. Wearing an actual matching pajama set to bed instead of a random t-shirt that I've had since college (okay, probably high school) and worn out yoga pants (am I even allowed to call them yoga pants if the closest thing I've done to yoga in them is look under the couch for the remote?).

  8. Buying something for myself (tampons don't count) and not feeling guilty.

  9. Having my in-laws over for dinner and realizing we actually have enough clean matching dishes and silverware to go around (maybe I'll even pull out a tablecloth to celebrate).

  10. Getting a pedicure. And by pedicure, I mean letting my five-year-old daughter put far too much nail polish on my toenails (and the better part of my toes). This is a double luxury: I get to put my feet up for ten minutes, and my daughter is unable to make any mischief for the same amount of time.

I guess the lesson from this list is that it doesn't take much to make a basic mom feel like she is in the lap of luxury.  I hope all the moms who read this post are able to take a few minutes sometime soon to do something that makes them feel fancy, however mundane that thing may be. And if you aren't too busy making up for the time you spent being fancy, I'd love to hear about it.