5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned
1. We talked to my 5-year-old daughter about "stranger danger" after receiving several "stranger danger" reports from her school system . . .
Then forced her to sit on the lap of a strange man we met at the mall and tell him her name and deepest desires while her sister screamed in terror.
Lesson: Traditions are weird. Also, we should work on our timing.
2. My 5-year-old called the neighbor's motion sensing alarm an "emotion sensor" . . .
Then I asked her a question so she would have to say it again because when a kid makes an adorable mistake, you should always trick her into repeating it.
Lesson: I should contact the mood ring industry and let them know I have a new product idea.
3. This diss by a 4-year-old stranger at the mall play place:
"Your phone looks like my grandma's old phone."
Lesson: I really need to get to the Sprint store to take advantage of my phone upgrade so the youths stop thinking I'm lame.
4. My 5-year old woke up terrified at three o'clock in the morning because she had a nightmare about a pet store.
She said the fish escaped from the tank and it felt like they were in bed with her.
Lesson: Never watch Finding Nemo before bed.
5. I sent this picture of myself in my robe to my best friend at 8:14 Saturday night in response to her asking if I wanted to go out.
Lesson: That 4-year-old was on to something - I am lame. But also, comfortable.