5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned
1. While playing Catch Phrase with my husband's family . . .
I discovered that several of his college-age cousins had never heard of Hootie and the Blowfish.
Lesson: Apparently, I am ancient. Also, I need to teach the youths about the monotonous '90s sensation that was Hootie and the Blowfish. I mean, seriously, watch this awesomeness.
2. While at the mall play place, a random toddler walked up to my toddler and kissed her right on the mouth . . .
Then my toddler proceeded to hug the random toddler so aggressively that she knocked her over. Twice.
Lesson: If I acted like a toddler, I'd probably be in jail.
3. My 5-year-old had a friend over for the afternoon, and the highlight of their day was dancing on my bed to the Kidz Bop version of Gangnam Style.
Lesson: If I acted like a 5-year-old, I'd probably be divorced.
4. I went to the gym for the first time in, let's just say . . . a while . . .
And while I was on the treadmill I managed to accidentally swat the cord to my earbuds and send my phone flying across the room.
Lesson: I need to figure out what to do with my arms when I run (and by "run" I mean alternate between jogging and walking as I pant for breath like a dog on a hot day). Also, going to the gym hurts more than I remember.
5. My 5-year-old accidentally stabbed me in the back of the thigh with a fork, which led me to exclaim:
"You forked me in the butt!"
To which my husband replied, "I've been trying to do that for years!"
Lesson: I need to choose my words more carefully. And my husbands.