Blogging about the daily joys and frustrations of modern motherhood.
The first time you experience the "is it chocolate or poop?" situation is pretty much like putting on the sorting hat. Do you laugh at the adventures of motherhood? Gryffindor. Do you consider the possible effects of exposure to human feces on your immune system? Ravenclaw. Do you wipe it on your spouse's shirt? Slytherin. Do you lick it off your hand and pray it's chocolate? Hufflepuff.
Read MoreI get that there are some similarities between pets and kids. Like, they are both living things. And they are both cute (or, at least, you think yours are). And once you have one, you are expected to keep it alive. But that's about where the similarities end.
Read MoreBeing a parent is all about responding to the needs and desires of your children, no matter how strange some of those needs and desires may seem (why would anyone choose to watch four grown men dressed in primary-colored turtlenecks singing about spaghetti and bananas?). Adapting to the needs and desires of your small creatures results in the discovery of several skills you never knew you had - skills you probably never knew existed or even needed to exist.
Read More5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned.
Read More5 Things That Actually Happened This Week and the Lessons I Learned.
Read MoreAccording to Wikipedia, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" was originally published in 1780. Which means it's horribly outdated. Really the only items on the list that may be desirable in modern times are the five golden rings, and, I suppose, the nine ladies dancing (if you happen to have singles on you). It's also ridiculously unrealistic - how does one come into possession of so many birds?
Read MoreValerie Jackson is a basic mom, a tolerable wife, and a self-deprecating writer. She is attempting to raise two young monsters into nice young ladies in Michigan. She has a law degree that’s only current use is to win arguments with her husband.
